Top 10 Hand Gestures of All Time!

So here it is folks, the complete and undisputed top 10 hand gestures of all time.


10) The Hardcore- The Hardcore is mostly used by fans of heavy metal and Bevis and Butthead. Today, people use it synonymously with saying “Rock On.” It has been argued that Texans came up with this popular gesture, to signify “Hook’em horns,” for their beloved school mascot, the University of Texas Longhorns, but thats what they get for thinking. Texans don’t count as people, they don’t have feelings either.


9) The Dub- Started and spread by the late Tupac Amaru Shakur for the coast he repped, this W is now, internationally, recognized as the only way white high school kids portray the word ‘Westside.’ (Pronounced: west-sigh-yeed) This hand gesture gained such a fantastic following that it spawned the East, South and North to make up a ‘sign’ for their respective coasts. This is obviously foolish because: A) No one would rep the east over the West; B) The south doesn’t know the directions of the compass and C) America doesn’t have a north side, they lost their rights to a name when they decided to touch Canada.


8) The Rock–The Rock is to hand gestures as Kwanza is to Holidays. It was created and popularize by the…uhh…urban population just to be different. The Rock was made because ‘The High Five’ (see below) became too ‘white,’ and since then has become somewhat of an ersatz to it. Sure when you think of The Rock you think of this generations greatest athlete and actor extraordinaire, but, unfortunately, the gesture does not measure up to said legend.


7) The Thumbs Up – These days, the only people who use the thumbs up, with regular consistency are dorks, plumbers and groundhogs. It is quite a sad fate for such an iconic hand gesture. The Thumbs Up used to have such prestige and stature. It was immortalized by the likes of Maverick and Iceman. Nevertheless, with the exception of VERY few instances, use of The Thumbs Up, in a serious setting, has since lead to an immediate admittance of homosexuality.


6) The Crossed Fingers – The Crossed fingers is one of the few gestures that skip a phase in every human’s life. It’s cool to cross your fingers for good luck in grade school. You know, fingers crossed on both hands, eyes clenched shut muttering “Come on, come on, come on!” Then it kind of dies off in high school through college and makes a come back post undergrad. The Crossed Fingers’ best use has always been to suggest that what you are saying is in fact the opposite of what you mean. Example: I cross my fingers and say, “Monkeys, Midgets, Pirates or Ninjas will not improve any situation!” Most notably the crossed fingers grant pardons to the obvious lie of “Yeah sure I’ll tap your head/tell you when I’m gonna go.” I swear it does…try it out for yourself*.

*Note: I cannot be held responsible for any repercussions your favorer might inflict on you as a result, unless she laughs and says “you’re right, I should have known better” and proceeds to blow you again; you can blame the latter on me.


5) The Shocker – The Shocker. Two in the pink, one in the stink! Hilarious to guys, appalling to girls. Most females squirm at the sight of the shocker as it insinuates the probing of a, normally, non-probable area. Any girl seen showing the shocker should, immediately, be given ‘The Rock,’ (see #8). However, I cannot overstate the comedic value the shocker has amongst guys. This is especially true if he can pull it off to a female. Although, I will note that attempting to use the shocker, without prior consent, may result in the lack of accessibility to the nether regions of the recipient for weeks to come.


4) The Kirk Gibson- Had The Kirk Gibson not been canonized by sports greatest moment, since the boycott of the Moscow Olympics, (yeah they had it comming) it would have retained its more common name, the fist pump. The fist pump was always an under valued hand gesture. It never really got its just due until 1988. The Kirk Gibson is probably the easiest hand gesture to butcher. Plenty of people really fuck this one up, just ask Phil Helmuth; read: he’s a douche bag.


3) The Asian Tourist- Sure, tree hugging, hippies brought the peace sign ages before Asians were given a portable camera to take to Disneyland; but seeing as we are verging on four decades post 1970’s and the hippie movement has, fortunately, all but died off, the name sticks with its most contemporary user. The Asian Tourist can be found in 20 out of the 24 pictures on roll of film of any...asian tourist*.

*Note this hand gesture is normally accompanied with an obscenely large smile and fingers spread as far apart as humanly possible.

2) The High Five – The High Five is the second gesture that has the prerequisite that another person be present. Originally created to signify “good job,” The High Five has become somewhat of a risk in social groups. When you ‘request’ The High Five you put yourself out on the line for immediate humiliation should you request be denied (especially if it is verbally). More often than not, a person who thinks someone else deserves one should offer The High Five. You also run the risk of getting psyched out. Should someone offer a High Five, they have every right to move their hand before the recipeint makes contact and yells "PSYCHE!!"* Its hilarious...always. Should someone verbally request a high five, you have every right (lest I suggest obligation) to not only deny/make fun of him or her but also wish pox upon them...and their family.

*Note: normally is followed by a punch in the stomach

1) The Bird – The most immortal of all hand gestures. Regardless of previously mentioned internationality, there is not a person alive that does not understand the pretensions behind flippin the bird. No matter the situation, it will always be more versatile than any other on this list. Its uses include but are not limited to: answering questions, responding to comments, ruining otherwise aesthetically pleasing pictures, express emotion, as well as repel a charging rhinoceros.

-Please note: does not actually repel a charging rhinoceros