Ignorance is Bliss

If you have been reading my blog since its creation, you will know that it has gradually evolved into what it is today. New readers find my writing style to be basically generalizing recent events in the news and my life and making fun of them (poorly I might add). Older readers know that my blog started out recounting what happened (recently) in the news and then expanding on that in one way or another. Well I thought I might revisit that style and bring the old and the new together to make everyone happy.


Debra LaFave. Ring any bells? Probably not, as the meat of this, popular, news story is old news (like 18 months old) and thus not worth anyone’s time to remember. What if I were to say…Tampa Bay? Would that help? No? How about teacher?!?! I bet you can assume what story I am talking about if you still don’t know for sure. Anyway about a week ago the trial against Debra LaFave was ended and she was set free. Some people are in uproars that she is not serving any jail time for having sex with her 14 year old student. This story really gets under my skin…remember that article I wrote about people who should be nixed from the gene pool? Here is a perfect example of someone who does not deserve to procreate!



Unfortunately for me, the media did not do its job and has not been able to release the name of the kid Debra had sex with. This makes things hard for me (no not like that). So to make things easier…I’m going to call this kid ‘Tim’.



Tim has got to be the stupidest fourteen year-old I’ve ever met or heard about. What straight male, that is in the middle of puberty, would ever rat out a girl (be it an adult or his age) he is sleeping with? When I was fourteen I would have stuck my penis between two slabs of raw steak just to try to emulate what sex must feel like. At fourteen, 90% of all male kids are still trying to figure out how to even masturbate properly, let alone actually have sex with someone.



What the fuck was this kid thinking? Have you seen pictures of this woman? Sure she is no Jessica Alba, but hell, she’s hotter than 100% of the women I had slept with by the time I turned 18 and probably 80% of the women I have EVER slept with period; and this kid had sex with her at 14…FOUR-FUCKING-TEEN! Tim should have just kept his mouth shut and gotten the best sex of his life for the rest of the school year. Then maybe brag about it to his friends when summer hits.



Now, to get back on to what is going on in the news, if you Google Debra’s name, you’ll here Tim referred to as: “The Victim.” Excuse me! The what?! The victim? The only thing this kid has become a victim of is the fact that EVERY guy he goes to school with will call him a pussy for ‘telling on the woman he was sleeping with.’ He is no victim…he WAS a hero. At fourteen if you manage to pork your teacher, especially if she is hot, you are a god damn legend on the playground! You can never lose an argument again to one of your peers. It’s like when you grow up and you manage to have sex with the mom of a friend. You just can’t ever lose again:



My Friend: “Jimmy what are you talking about, 2 + 2 isn’t 5?”
Me: “Ohh yeah well I fucked your mom!”
My Friend: “What? That doesn’t even make any sense!”
Me: “Your mom doesn’t make any sense!”
My Friend: *head bowed in defeat*



Now, fortunately for Tim, he has gotten zero publicity…So very few people actually know which kid to make fun of. His mom on the other has had a few words to say…and, of course, as it true to typical Jimmy style, these quotes will not go without commentary from me!



Tim’s Mom: “And that would have happened every day during the trial and just debating every moment, every word that came out of his mouth, every detail that was presented that would have been terrible for him."



This quote was in response to the commentary about the fact that trail was dismissed before Tim had to testify. I agree with Tim’s mom here, it would have been terrible for him! However, I wish I had seen his statements on the recount of what happened. I would have just sat back waiting for the exact moment that he gets that look of realization on his face of: “What the fuck have I done? After this fiasco I won’t get a chance to sleep with her again! Fuck me!” Then I would laugh as he dismisses everything that he just said, hoped up and out of his seat, over his little podium, ran over to her seat and started humping her leg. But alas, that opportunity was not provided to me.



Tim’s Mom: “I'm just appalled by his actions appalled that he took so little consideration about the well-being of my son."



She gave this response aimed at the Judge and the fact that he would not allow a plea agreement for Debra. Well being of your son?! Lady the only thing that happened here is your son got laid by a hot older woman. I understand the fact that you probably didn’t lose your virginity until you were 35 but that is no reason to rain on your son’s parade…which, in retrospect, would probably have been nice for him because he has already shit all over it.



Tim’s Mom: “18 months have now passed and I've yet to see any true remorse and she continues to paint herself as the victim. And that she is not taking responsibility in my opinion for her actions." [sic]



This quote is to Debra and her apparent lack of apathy toward Tim and the situation. Hey Tim’s Mom, come here real quick. Ok let me tell you something, Debra is in her 30’s and is sleeping with 14 year olds…I think she just might be the victim of her bi-polarity. Also, I never knew that pleading guilty was not taking responsibility (which she has done and why the case is, now, closed)…sometimes I wonder if people really do think before they speak.



Tim’s Mom: “He's doing well so in the long run, I believe he's going to be absolutely fine and already talking about going to college.”



You believe he’s going to be fine? The kid got laid. He didn’t have a gun put to his head being told that if he didn’t kick his cat into a wood chipper he would be shot. This wasn’t some life altering situation that will leave him permanently fucked in the head and involve hours of therapy. If anything he should be doing better than everyone else. He no longer has to worry about getting that first time out of the way. Plus he did it with a mature woman, who hopefully showed him the ropes. On top of that, if this kid needs this much counseling from his mom every time he gets laid, I have some words of wisdom for him…drop those plans to go to college. In case he doesn’t know this already, guys normally end up sleeping with lots of women in college.



This all just go to show how one small incident can lead to a person finding themselves on: Jimmy’s List of People Who Should Not Reproduce. I am very confident in mankind and its ability to create more people who will, inevitably do stupid things that will force me to include them on this list, so please look out for future articles about new additions to the list!