Speed Talkin

Ok so for my birthday (which has yet to occur) the members of my favorite group gave me a few presents. Although both early, they were much appreciated and I love them dearly for their thoughtfulness. Back on February 8, Krayzie Bone released a new album called Gemini: Good vs. Evil. The album is amazing. Excellent beats mixed with contemporary styles, well thought out lyrics, brilliant production, features all of Bone Thugs and of course, lightning quick delivery. From there, I was given another gift yesterday. Layzie Bone and Bizzy Bone created an album together called Bone Brothers. Guess who is featured all over it. If you have half a brain...you probably guessed Bone, and you would have been correct. Now what makes these 4 so appealing to the masses? Definitely the speed at which they rap. Speed talking is a definitive way of being cool. Yes I stated before that being a ninja made you cool...which it does...however, talking/rapping/rhyming/mumbling ridiculously fast is an instant in to the awesome club.

A perfect example of this is everyone’s favorite spokesman from the 80's: John Moschitta. You all know this guy from the Micro Machines commercials back in the 80's. He would come on screen and just talking obscenely fast, then at the end say the only intelligible thing which was the name of the product...mmmmmmmMicro Machines. This guy was freaking sweet...If you were to try to tell me that you didn't mimic him on the playground with your friends at recess, I'd probably kick you in the teeth for lying to me. The best part about this guy is only totally rad people know him for his true artwork. Being the voice of Blurr on the Transformers.

Vehicles, Planes and Dinosaurs (for those who really stuck with the show) that turn into robots is almost as good an idea as reptile ninjas. Transformers are the best forms of transportation one could hope to have. Assuming the automobile form, you could totally take a nap or play game boy or something other than drive cause they drive for you. If its the plane type...you are in a Jet, you'll be anywhere in like 10 min. If by Dinosaur, you'd be the coolest kid on the block. I mean I'd pledge my loyalty if I saw some dude riding around on a dinosaur (unless of course I saw another kid who was a ninja AND had a dinosaur).

The Transformers had it goin on, unless of course you were Megatron, who turned into a stupid gun...wow way to go...you turned into an inanimate object that requires someone else to be alive to be used, I hope you are proud of yourself. He couldn't even talk fast...pft...what a loser!

Driver Carries No Cash...He's Married

Gearing up for Valentine's Day? Don't let it make you sick. A weekend report in The Psychologist magazine argues that mental health professionals should treat "love sickness" as a real, and potentially serious, psychological disorder. Its symptoms include mania, depression, and obsessive-compulsive behavior.

Love is a many splendored thing. It can also be downright creepy. Pretty much its just weird...but what is the reason for love? Copulation is my guess. That 5-20 seconds (yeah 20 if you're Peter North)of bliss is enough to drive most guys to love.

But not all creatures believe in love just for sex. Lets check out some of these wacky animals.

Lesbienism: For the whiptail lizard, there's a good reason why a good man is hard to find: there aren't any. All of their eggs are genetic duplicates, clones of the female. The lady lizards still have some romance, though. Two females will court to induce egg laying, taking turns playing "the male." What a cool animal. But then again, probably one of the most difficult species to deal with. On one hand...ya got two chicks doin each other, AWESOME. But then there are SOOO many women around that are just achin to complain about something.

Prostitution: Love isn't in the air in an Adelie penguin colony; it's on the ground. That's because Adelie penguins build stone platforms during courtship to protect their eggs. But some penguin females have a different strategy: they're hookers. After settling down with a mate, these females will approach other males and trade sex for stones. Sometimes the female even leaves with her stone before the male gets to hit that majestic moment. Either way, she picks up a stone from the male's nest and moves it back to her mate's. What a great idea, legalized prostitution for the protection of your youth. Clearly these penguins are not from California, otherwise they'd be hauled off to jail and had their sexual fun there via a 250 lb black guy named Tiny.

S&M:After weeks of searching, a male mantis finally gets lucky. Yet just when the magic moment occurs, his lover reaches around and rips his head off for a snack. Yeah we've all heard about this little practice. The dumb broad kills the dude because she needs nourishment for her young. Not going to far into this one, except the fact that I'm glad I'm not having sex with any mantis'

Oral Sex:Living in the pitch black of the ocean deep, anglerfish don't have much use for good looks. And because finding a mate is so difficult in the abyss, mating pairs bond for life, literally. The male, only a fraction of the size of the female, hooks onto her belly with his teeth and never lets go. His body joins with hers, slowly losing internal organs until he becomes little more than a sperm-producing parasite that she carries around for life. If I had to be stuck swimmin around with a female for the rest of my life, I would probably just bitch and moan about it because there would be nothing I could do, although, come to think of, I probably couldn't even bitch and moan seeing as my mouth is attached to her fat stomach.
Fuck!