MySpace MyLife!

MySpace. A Place for Friends. Well that’s good to know...I have a lot of friends. A LOT OF FRIENDS. People just tend to like me. I mean, who could blame them. Who wouldn't want to be friends with someone with a picture as hot as mine? I mean look at it! Damn I look hot in that picture. I know everyone else thinks so too. Best part about that picture? No one knows I put it up to just in an attempt to ameliorate my outlook on my own lonesome existence. But what the hell, I look hot in it.

Speaking of pictures, I have some great pictures up in my MySpace account (hahahaha how funny is that? MY MySpace). I like putting them up with very carefully chosen 'headings' or as I like to call them 'descriptions.' I tend to go about them in a two fold manner (but SHHHH don't tell anyone):

1) Just barely grab interest- give them just enough information to peak curiosity, while still enticing them ask what was going on.

2) Force jealousy- People see my pictures and are jealous of all the fun I have. I think my descriptions catalyze these responses. Kudos to me.

People look at my pictures/comments and are really impressed by what I do. I mean, with shots like the one of me and my red solo cup at a party or smiling really big with a bunch of chicks, who wouldn't want to be around me. I have so much fun.

In case I didn't mention it before, I have a lot of friends. Doesn't matter that I don't know half of them and only actively keep in touch with a sixteenth of the other half. Either way, they are my MySpace (giggle) friends. And I have a lot of them. I have a lot of model friends. I guess I just have that aura about me. Almost daily I get friend requests from aspiring models. They must think I look sexy in my picture. I don't blame them, I do. They always leave me comments like: "Thanks for the add sweetie," or "Thanks cutie! *Kiss Kiss*."I wonder why none of them respond to my messages?

I love having full conversations via comments. I’m willing to bet that everyone wants to know what my friends and I have to talk about. I suppose I COULD use the message feature provided within MySpace. But honestly, if you go that route, no one knows what’s going on in your life. And trust me, people are interested. The best comments, though, are the ones that plan what my, real life, friends and I are going to do. That way everyone knows where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing. They get so jealous. People feel left out when people put up inside jokes and let the world know that it is an inside joke by ending with something like, “only you would get that!!! Lololololololol.” They’re just avaricious they don’t get comments like that.

My profile page looks staggeringly awesome. It’s almost not fair how cool it looks. In fact, it isn’t fair. I have this cool website that helps me with this, its called Pimp My MySpace. But I don’t let people know that, I want them to think I’m creative enough to come up with my own customizations. My background is a bright gaudy color with equally lubricious text coloring. The ugly black text is so gay. It doesn’t stop there; I have it setup so when you come to my profile your cursor changes into a bear. How cool is that. Also all the pictures on my profile page are dimmed. Once you mouse over the picture they go to normal shade. It’s a ridiculously neat effect. The models love that about my page.

My profile has all sorts of useful information about me. It lists EVERY SINGLE movie I’ve ever seen and musical act I’ve ever heard. I know how often people search for other people with similar tastes in movies and music, so I don’t want to miss an open opportunity to make a new MySpace friend. Wanna know the coolest thing about my music section? Get this. I have a music video PLAYING, on the page, while you are reading. I figure anyone cool enough to read my profile would enjoy the euphonious rhythm of Poison.

The other useful information I provide is how I relate to popular media. At any given time I have between 5-10 ‘You Are…’s” on my page. Everyone’s heard of Family guy, That 70’s show, Friends, Sex in the City etc. so there is no reason not to let my friends (whether current or soon to be) which character I would be if I were on the show. They all give a nifty little explanation of characteristics of the character. Sure most of them contradict the one another; but that’s OK, it still gives people more insight into my complex, yet simple minded, psyche.

MySpace is the best thing to happen to my life. Hell who needs real friends and a real social life when I have MySpace to play on all day!!! I love you MySpace. You really are a place for 'kinda' friends.